I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
