i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
