Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
