you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
