they need to just BURY HIM!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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