I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
