Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
