I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
