Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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