i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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