he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
