Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
