Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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