On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
