I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
