I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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