What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
