Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
