best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
