We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
