For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
