Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
