just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
