I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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