I want to stick my p in your. b.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you inspire me to be a worse person
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
