I think my vagina is haunted
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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