just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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