i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
