we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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