Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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