from now on my penis is your penis
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
