Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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