all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
