She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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