you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
