We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
