My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
