I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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