i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
