if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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