So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
