Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
