i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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