We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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