Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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