friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
PANTIES FOUND
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
