Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
