i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
