Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize