Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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