defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
