Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
