You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
