just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
