I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
