no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
