My room smells like vodka and shame
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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