you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
