Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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