I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this boner is exhausting
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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