i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
